Backlashes of a lazy student

     It was time to start picking my summer classes and I didn’t want to pick any classes that would give me a hard time.After all, the summer courses only last 12 weeks. Seeing that I had to pick a class to satisfy my science requirement, I initially discarded picking any science class. Science is hard , isn’t it? That is of course until I saw that they offered Astronomy classes to satisfy the science credit. I was very much excited. I mean how hard can an astronomy class be? When I looked up the description it said that observing the sky would be one of the activities.

     A PLANETERIUM! I remember going to one when I was little. I signed up for the class immediately after reading this. I told my sister-in-law that we were going to go to a planetarium. yayyyy! summer field trips!!

     That was of course of my idea up until the class actually started. When I first walked into the classroom it was an average small room with nothing very appealing to it. There was a white board and the walls dirty from apparent fingerprints.: it resembled nothing like a class in the science field. I kept saying to myself that looks weren’t everything and I proceeded with the class even though there was a knot in my stomach that was telling me that nothing here is what I expected.

     The teacher began to teach and the first things that came out of his mouth were "I know we’re suppose to be doing some observing in the class, but there will be none of that. We can learn by theory, using textbooks. It’s just as fun".
So in essence, for not paying 15 dollars entrance to the planetarium, I signed up for a class that is taught by PowerPoint and doesn’t even offer multiple choice questions on the exams.

The moral of the story: Pay the entrance fee to the museum kids. Power point and memorizing the notion of speed of light is not as amusing.

Bear with me


I’ve been doing lots and lots of crosswords. It’s frustrating because sometimes the word pops up in more than one crossword and I can’t seem to remember said word. All in all I’m completly happy with my new hobby because I feel intelligent that I know that “Desist from (7) is Abstain”. Although between you and me I still rely heavily on spell checker. To prove that I have learned some words from this new hobby I will try to tell a story using some of those words. You’ll know which ones they are.


Lax morals have invaded this country for the past 8 years and now with the rise of a new President comes new hope. The President elect has been extolled by many of the World’s most important leaders. I could have tried to write a limerick than this
desultory
balderdash.


Let me know how it went looking all of it up on the dictionary.

Cnn does Star Wars


As if having the magic screen I like to call the biggest touch I pod in the world isn’t enough, Cnn revealed on election night their holographic technology. They beamed in correspondents! Like literally beamed them into the situation room to respond to Lord Blitzer with regards of the federation of hope waiting for the next President.


I thought it was kinda silly and interesting at the same time. I thought it was silly because I’m about 90% sure Lord Blitzer wasn’t seeing anything per say, and the it was only visible through the monitors. I couldn’t help but look at his face pretend someone was there. I found it interesting because no one else thought of it before and for that reasons they receive my respect. They achieved this innovation by enclosing the correspondents in a cage like green room surrounded by dozens of cameras.


Cnn 2 ( must count the giant ipod ) ; everyone else nada.

Know thy self


First off, for those who know me know how discontent I was with the media lately and how they have only been reporting on politics. Well my prayers have been answered and now it has all come to an end.Now we return to regular broadcasting.

Congratulations to Barack Obama , I have no doubt in my heart that you will make an incredible President.Truly and beyond happy for you.


If you have been paying as much attention as I have been forced to , you will know that one of Barack Obama’s tax plan is to raise taxes on anyone making 250,000 dollars a year and giving a tax break for the middle class or anyone making less than that.


Before you start jumping up and down with your part-time wal-mart check in hand, there are some things you need to know about yourself. One of those things is what “class” are you. We’ve heard all about the middle-class and upper-class these past few months.Let me try to break it down for you:


If you pay taxes and your idea of an Eco-friendly car is a compact BMW , you may be upper-class. Other signs of this trend is if your money is somewhere in a Swiz bank , where not only might you be rich but have signs of being an insurance broker waiting to run off with some else’s dough. If your vacation destination is only accessible through a private jet, congratulations, you belong to the upper-class.


If you pay taxes and still buy at Wal-mart you show signs of being middle-class. Cars to look for in the garage are Hondas or a Prius you bought at the police auction. You might live in a neighberhood where you’re close enough to the poor to remind you to keep your two jobs but far away from them to sleep well at night. Your idea of haute coutre is Ralph Lauren.And if your ass fits in them , True religion jeans.


If you DON’T pay taxes but instead the government pays you, you are just plain poor. Lower-class is too fancy word for you and only hear it from the suburban folks I mentioned above this one.Your garage or the apartment building parking lot most likely has at least two shopping carts that people stole from the local supermarket. Your means of transportation is the city bus where you pay in coins because 70 dollars for the monthly pass is too much money to give in in one blow.


So analyze your situation first then jump up and down. Come back for more!!

In memory of…


….my Giga Pet.
I don’t know exactly how he died or when he died. Hell, that thing had more lives than any cats I’ve ever heard of. Nonetheless I feel important to say good-bye to my digital pet from the 90’s.
I’m not particularly fond of animals. They smell, they’re loud,they bite. No wonder the elderly like them so much. But one day my father brought me one from KFC. At first I didn’t like it because it made this beeping sound and because he was pretty needed. I’d feed him and he’d crap on himself. I had to put him to bed ,call the docter, then he’d die and it would start all over again.


I eventually got sick of playing with him no matter how many KFC gave me ( I ended up having 3) and the school banning them had a little to do with it. For some reason I always liked my friends Giga pets better. So my dear purple Giga Pet fell into obscurity. I don’t know where he went . I doubt I threw him away because I have a problem throwing things away. So long my digital pet.


I wonder how many people had these things and actually remember them?

James Bond for President


I was reading an article about how Daniel Craig ( the actor to play James Bond in the new film of the series ) was excited about the elections. This got my mind thinking. What if James Bond ( the character) was President?


Wouldn’t that be the best? I wish someone would nominate him somewhere and since I see the wordpress has a poll options ( I wonder why) I’m going to nominate James Bond for the United States Presidency. Let’s look at his background a bit.


James Bond For President :Is handsome spy with the code name 007. Rumor has it he might be a shape shifter seeing that he has changed appearances at least 7 times and never ages.
Foreign policy experience: Is capable of traveling to various locations in less than 5 movie minutes and speak the language fluidly.
Homeland security: Can kick ass and take names.
Health care: Is immune to any debilitating blow an enemy might bestow on him. If elected he will share the elixir of life with us.


Running mate for President Bond, Austin Powers:Proves a much more grimmer reality that not all British spies are hot.
Foreign policy experience:Balances his running mate perfectly. Unlike his running mate Mr.Power can also travel through time.
Homeland security: Has fought evil scientist and men with golden penises.
Health care Has mojo. Do you really need anything else?

Now of course with each Presidential ticket there has to be an opposing party. So here is another ticket and at the end please vote for who would you like to be the fake President of anywhere, I’m not picky.



Oprah for President: This queen of talk shows is already called some sort of God from the Chicago district. Could be a witch who’s hypnotizing us to do and say what she wants.
Foreign policy experience:Is watched by people from all over the world.
Homeland security: Will easily talk her way out of any war.
Health care: Will promote the cure for any illness in her book club.After it hits number 1 in the best sellers it will eventually become an actual cure.


President Oprah’s running mate, Bill O’Reily:Wishes he had the power of Oprah.Hates anyone who can’t prove their ancestors came in the Mayflower.
Foreign policy experience: Everything that isn’t America should be bombed.
Homeland security: Believes Puerto Ricans might be hiding terrorist messages in their loud music and hide bombs in their rims.
Healh care: Doesn’t know much about it but it must be due to immigration.



There you have it. Make me proud.


Groundhog Dream


As I laid last night to sleep I could hear my dad scratching his feet from a distant. You see he has rough feet and he left his socks on while doing this so it made a very annoying sound. So I decided as a vengeance to scratch the bed spread to see if he liked the sound of it. Apparently he could care less because he didn’t stop with his noise. So that’s the sound I went to sleep to, two people making scratching noises.


Evidently, this must have had some effect on my dream because it was just odd. Plain and simple. I dreamt that I was having a dream. A dream within a dream. Like the poem from Edgar Allan Poe. As a matter of fact , this should be something from Edgar Allan Poe. I dreamt that I was dreaming ( hang onto me here ) that I was being harassed by 5 evil spirits. I’m saying 5 because when I woke up from my sub dream that’s what I told my Dad because exaggeration is the best way to alarm people. My guess is that they were actually three of them. My dad ignored me ( nothing surprising there) so I tried to get back to my sub-sleep mood. But I couldn’t so I decided to understand what was going on. Have you ever notice that when given the chance to let your dream persona think/talk they will come up with the most nonsensical gibberish? But in the dream you think you’re a freaking philosopher. My dream persona came to the conclusion that the spirits could not cause me any harm because if it’s the devil’s work he would have killed Jesus in his sleep too.


At this point I just decided to wake up. It was getting ridiculous to just listen to myself ramble without anyone there to stop me.


I sometimes think about keeping a dream journal. But the first thing on my mind when I wake up is what’s for breakfast.

Missing partner


Have you ever opened the drawer to find your socks only to realize you can’t find the other one?
It has happened to me and everyone else. Funny enough the colored ones with prints who you’d think you can spot a mile away are the ones missing their partner.Well no need to worry. Now there is a website dedicated to lonely socks.


You heard me. A website about lonely socks. Here you can find all sorts of socks people have lost the other half of.

I have come to the conclusion that there just a website about absolutely everything! I spent about 20 minutes today at a website that is dedicated to film things explode in a microwave. Cake foam is one disgusting thing to look at in that state.Please if anyone has meaningless websites that you enjoy or come upon, don’t hesitate in sending it my way.


Pages like these make me want to make up a meaningless website just to see if I get any hits. But then again I do have this blog.

Confessions …


I like the Clinton’s. That’s not my confession though. The real confession is that every time I see them on TV I can’t help but think that they seem bitter. Bitter is such a nice word. More like really reallly realllllllly pissed off. It’s very interesting that Hillary Clinton has fought so hard to be in the White House and this DITZ is just a few morons voting for her away from actually being there. I can just imagine Bill thinking to himself “I did NOT want this to happen. We coulda had the women voters.But noooo he had to steer away. Oh Hell ,HILLARY , get your coat let’s get us some grub.”


It’s kinda sad how they have to go on TV and say how much better Obama/Biden can do while clenching onto their teeth. I know they can do a good job. I’m pretty sure Hillary doesn’t want McCain there. But it just gives me this eerie feeling she just doesn’t want McCain/Palin president, but she HATES this lady from the bottom of her ovaries. Hell, I don’t like her either and her whole existence pisses me off. I’m not judgmental but give me somebody that’s worth it. During the debate she winked and said so many “gotachas, betchas” I felt like she was selling me a car. I could have survived without all of that.


In a sort of Sarah Palin news: For those porn lovers out there , they are making a porno inspired by Sarah Palin. Yes it’s true. Now you can jerk off to her while not having the debate on mute. From what I heard there’s going to be a Hillary look-a-like on there. Here is a link to some of the script I got it off tmz.com
http://www.tmz.com/2008/10/03/forget-avn-award-we-smell-oscar/


It’s quite funny. I wish I could read the rest to see how they would mingle Hillary in there. It’s not that X-rated so don’t loose your heads here.

How do you start a bank?

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And how fast can you screw it over?
I want 700 billion dollars. For some reason Bill Gates doesn’t seem all too big and bad anymore. I know this problem affects a lot of people. Although I’m yet to meet any of them. Most of the people I know don’t have loads of stocks in the market and are able to pay their mortgage. I can just imagine one of those really rich people, “Oh darn I lost 5 millions. Now I only have 576 millions left.”
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Why is Bush so in a hurry to get that cash approved? Doesn’t it seem so sudden? Give economist 5 miutes to really think this through. It’s like going to war with Iraq “See ,hehe, we gotta go now,hehe.Surprise em . come up right behind ’em they wont know what hit ’em hehe.”
I hate it when everyone rushes things.
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Speaking of rushing things. I want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But Sarah Palin is a ditz. Sorry, big ditz. I’m surprised Katie Couric didn’t roll her eyes and slapped her so hard that a fly might pity her. Snl did a great job imitating the interview. From what I saw it wasn’t much different from the original interview.
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If I wasn’t so lazy I’d make some sort of sign calling my country crooks and idiots. But I’m not that motivated. I can’t wait for all of this to finish. I miss Caley Anthony on the news.

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