Cnn does Star Wars

As if having the magic screen I like to call the biggest touch I pod in the world isn’t enough, Cnn revealed on election night their holographic technology. They beamed in correspondents! Like literally beamed them into the situation room to respond to Lord Blitzer with regards of the federation of hope waiting for the next President.

I thought it was kinda silly and interesting at the same time. I thought it was silly because I’m about 90% sure Lord Blitzer wasn’t seeing anything per say, and the it was only visible through the monitors. I couldn’t help but look at his face pretend someone was there. I found it interesting because no one else thought of it before and for that reasons they receive my respect. They achieved this innovation by enclosing the correspondents in a cage like green room surrounded by dozens of cameras.

Cnn 2 ( must count the giant ipod ) ; everyone else nada.


Rapping Granny

I recall sharing with you all about how Mozart has a new piece of music. To bring you back a bit to the musical sense I now present you Angela Pusateri.. Pusateri is a rapper, she’s also 79. This feisty grandma is not giving up on her desire to be a rapper. So much so that she has a new album called “Who’s your grandma?”.

God bless her. It’s so interesting to watch her rapping. She really enjoys herself. I must ask though , is the outfit necessary? She’s pushing herself to make her rapping image , would it be downsized if she didn’t wear the outfit? I know she’s no Kanye West or 50 cent but she is more gutsy to even try and put herself out there.

I wonder if I could rap if I tried. Check out the video . It’s really interesting!

Cure for the curious

You might know by now that I have a thing for weird news. This morning I was on a website that showed movies based on actual events and how faithful they were to the facts. Somehow I ended up reading the Flight 93 transcript from September 11. I much rather have heard the actual recording. It was really confusing reading all those “no, no , no, no, no”. Who was saying no? And who were they saying no to? Although the whole “Allah is greatest” I’m going to be bold and say maybe the terrorist said that part.

After I read that I decided to keep browsing the site. I had heard of the smoking gun before but I thought it was another sort of Perez page. Well no it isn’t. It’s like hearing about someone declaring they got beat up and you get to read the court papers. They have a lot of court papers on there! This is very entertaining to me because at least I know I’m not being bullshitted or what I’m reading isn’t being exaggerated by the press.

Back to the transcript ( I’m sorry I can’t get over it ) can someone read it and agree with me that what I assume are the terrorist sounded pretty nervous. My guess is they were desperate to crash that shit. They were crumbling under pressure. I read a piece where it said that there was a fight outside ,that they were outside the cockpit. Those were the terrorist saying that right? They probably realized Americans can be just as crazy as they are. What’s even scarier is that they were trying to get a hold of a cockpit , but NOT because Allah promised them 7 virgins in heaven, but because they needed to protect their country and families. Somewhere Bin Laden is thinking how on God’s earth (or Allah I’m flexible) does a head of state maintain it’s people so patriotic without brainwashing them with fictional virgins. I mean if they’re that horny , they should just visit Las Vegas or the playboy mansion. Not a lot of virgins but we have operations for that. Stop fighting people. Come to America where we can restore a girls virginity (before attributed only to the Catholic church).

Pay back is a *censored*

My blog comes a little bit late in the day because I was watching a movie. A note to myself: If it’s more than 1 hour and 40 minutes it is physically impossible for me to keep paying attention no matter how great the movie.

With that off my chest I come to you with TA-DA! The weird stuff going on in our world.

Have you ever been afraid some freak on the bus or in the street might take a picture up your skirt?
Well that’s what happened with this women. She was climbing up the stairs of a Manhattan subway station when a man snapped a picture up her skirt. A near by witness confirmed the man who took the picture. So what did our victim do? She ran after the guy and took a picture of HIM. That’s right , she said smile I’m going to the police. And that she did. She showed them the picture of the perv and filed charges against sexual harassment among other things.

Take that! I like her , she’s gutsy. I mean she could have gone all out on the guy and took his phone from him. I don’t know, something erratic I suppose. But nope ,she rather have made that guy suffer.Someone had a picture of him and any moment he was going to be arrested. Hell if she wanted to she could have posted that shit on the internet so that the whole internet nation can see him.

Don’t mess with chicks.

A bigger come back than Britney Spears…

Miss me?

Of course you do! Well I’m back and I bring with me a new theme. To be truthful to my audience I have been very nonchalant on the news lately. It’s been the same crap for a little more over than a week and I just got lazy. Another thing is that I got sick of my theme. I wanted to change the header but I didn’t want to design it myself and my friends who could do it have fallen below the radar. So I just changed the whole thing all together.

But to keep with the theme of this blog entry and back to the craziness that is my blog, guess who else has made a come back?

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

He’s coming out with a new album called “Classical Chronicles: The white stuff on my face isn’t makeup anymore”.
OK, he’s not coming out with a new album , BUT they did find a brand new sheet of music belonging to him.Lying in French museum was an 18th century unknown musical sketch handwritten by Mozart himself. All it’s missing is the harmony and instrumentation but all in all its a very important find. It will be auctioned off for approximately 100,000. They should hand that over to Timbaland and watch Mozart come alive again in a duet with Justin.

Moving on, did you know that the world could have ended last week? Well, it’s kinda true. Depends how superstitious you are. I won’t go into too much detail but offer a comprehensive link with all the details. Here , you can read up on the “Big bang machine” The deal is , scientist have been building this machine that will recreate the big bang explosion that supposedly created the universe. It took them 14 years and whole lot of money and now they’ve finished it. Here’s the catch , there was a small possibility it would have created blackhole and thus killing us all. Scary huh? We’re not out of the woods , the machine is set to go into full power coming October so who knows what might happen. I have a lot of questions and conflicts with myself. First of all, 14 years in the making and NOWWWWW we hear about this?! Black hole ,dying ,black hole dying. I wonder if that happened we would notice it. Sort of like being sucked into some Piccasso painting. Our ears would be in our mouths and we would have two noses. Scary.

Well , all in all , I’m back bitches.

I jaywalk ! And?!?!

Yes I jaywalk. And?! Big fucking deal. If you think I’m going to walk ALL the way to the corner when the place I want to go to is right across from me, you have another thing coming.

But Shanghai Police are going to try to put a stop to it by humiliating you on tv.See they have this wacky idea that maybe if they post pictures of you jaywalking and videos you might feel bad and not do it anymore. The Shanghai Daily said that offending pedestrians , motorcyclist and everyone else too lazy to walk to the corners will be snapped and put on daily programs.

UhhhH scary! If I lived there I’d jaywalk with a big sign strapped on my back that says “Come fucking get me” or promoting my website, you know it is free publicity.I know it sucks for cars because you have to wait sometimes for people to cross the streets or you can’t go hey-wire on the roads in case of us jaywalkers. But you know what? Take anger management and deal with it.

I jaywalk and proud of it! Just don’t tell any cops on me or anything..

Tales from the crypt …

Hey remember not long ago when I told you about a nice young fellow ( the nice is alleged) who’s last wish was to be stand at his viewing? Still yearning for creeping after death stories? Good because this one is going to blow your minds.

La vega , Dominican Republic

When Francisco Manuel Brito Cornielle died after a gun fight with police his family went to the morgue to retrieve the body. The Doctors and those in charge, informed the family that they had to wait for an autopsy and the cost would be RD$5,000 which is roughly $152 American dollars. Brito Cornielle’s family and friends being of poor origins didn’t have the money so they decided to just break into the hospital and take the body.

And that they did. Like a puppet or someone who was really drunk after hard partying they dragged the body of 31 year old Brito Cornielle. Guess where they rode it? Suv … nope…. truck? nopes…! In a motorcycle…! It was tricking getting him to stay on the motorcycle since his body was still wobbly. I felt kinda sad for the driver because when they threw the body on his back he sort of leans forward almost saying “ewww get the dead dude off me , he has blood ..! ahhh shit my wife is gonna give me hell for this”. Check out the video for yourself. I didn’t know you had to pay a fine in some countries to do an autopsy. I mean ok if it’s their law. But he got shot. Just try to find the hole where there might be vital organs and presto. “Yup , see this hole, the one in his head. Call me crazy but I think this was the one who did the trick.”
See the video and the angry mob armed with scary rocks ready to break in!

Stand up straight , it’s your funeral!

Having been to a Latin country I have seen a lot of weird funerals. Some had music others had people dressed in bright colors. But this particular funeral held in Puerto Rico broke the mold.

When Angel Pantoja Medina was found dead on Friday beneath a bridge his family set out to fulfill his last wish: To be held standing in his funeral.

A funeral home helped provide special embalming so that the corpse would be able to stand up straight during the three-day wake.

I don’t know if this is weird or just plain creepy. You imagine walking in and just casually passing that dude with the sunglasses. So yeah where’s the dead kid? Oh you just passed him, he would be that one right there in the corner with the glasses. Anyone just get a flash back of weekend at Bernie’s?
The three-day wake was held at his mom house. I would never be able to go to a house where they had a corpse just casually leaning against the wall. I mean if I were talking to anyone there I KNOW my sight would wonder off to the place where I saw the dude. Talk about haunted houses. Please ,please I hope the world doesn’t make a habit out of this. What ever happened to viewing people in the comfort of their coffins?

I wonder if they buried him standing too?

Mail’s here ! You have a letter from Heaven…

I have been off on the news of the weird lately but oh do I have a good one for you.
Chet Fitch died 88 years of age last October. Fitch, a humorous fellow, gave his family a last little prank even after he died.

Come Christmas his family started to receive letters written in Fitch’s handwriting with the return address being “heaven”. He states in the letters that the “Big guy” (God) let him have a little moment to write his letters. He seals one letter saying “I’ll probably be seeing you (some of you sooner than you think)”.

Now this is no Ashton Kutcher , but I would have been freaked out. First off the guy is dead. Then you start getting letters two months later from Heaven ?! Kudos to this guy. He had been planning this for more than two decades alongside his barber. He had determination. I bet Ashton Kutcher was sitting around when he was 14 saying “I’m gonna get one of the N’sync kids , watch, they’ll be a group called N’sync and I’ll prank one watch..WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO….HHAAA! Punk!”

Instead of Christmas cards he should have written that he didn’t really die per say but traveled to the future. Suggested a few lottery numbers to play and drive his family a little crazy over the years. Randomly suggesting things like on July 24,2011 go outside , put one hand in your head and the other on your nose….wait for spaceship. Then send the other one the next day saying, you missed it ,you forgot your god damn peace fingers! Now they think we’re the enemy! Start building shelter as of now.

Wasn’t Blast from the past something like that?

Get out of work card.

We all have had days when we feel like we don’t want to go to work. We sit on the edge of our beds thinking of what kind of lies we can come up with. Well it seems our gud ol’ mates from down under Canberra ,Australia have it covered. The website is dedicated to buying doctor’s note, so you don’t have to go to work. It doesn’t stop there. It offers American websites as well as European links so that you can cancel the gym membership that state you need to be ill or pregnant to terminate the contract. It costs about $38 and said to be funded by an Australian docter, who’s staff consisted mainly of European backpackers looking for a way to fund their trips.

This is….. interesting?
I’m torn . I think it’s great to take a day off and I really don’t buy when they say it costs the company “MILLIONS” of dollar in lost productivity. The truth is that most large companies exhaust employees to the point where they have to make up an excuse for one day off.

Hell I use to do it all the time! It didn’t cost my boss a thing just a little adjustment for 8 hours. Then there are the gyms. Oh boy I don’t know how there aren’t a league of strangled trainers in America. Balley’s doesn’t let you out of contract for 3 years! If you move , they transfer you to another gym nearby. So your only choice if you no longer want their services is to get fatally ill and have a docter say that you can not do any exercise whatsoever.

I just changed my mind. Horray for people buying medical slips. God damn I wish I had known about this sooner. Talk about all those school papers I could have saved myself from writing just because the “docter” said I pulled my bicep muscle.

I wonder the good mates medical notes say. “Crikey! Bill caint cum to wurk , seems lyk he got hit by a kangaroo.”

I know immature but I couldn’t help myself.

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