Know thy self

First off, for those who know me know how discontent I was with the media lately and how they have only been reporting on politics. Well my prayers have been answered and now it has all come to an end.Now we return to regular broadcasting.

Congratulations to Barack Obama , I have no doubt in my heart that you will make an incredible President.Truly and beyond happy for you.

If you have been paying as much attention as I have been forced to , you will know that one of Barack Obama’s tax plan is to raise taxes on anyone making 250,000 dollars a year and giving a tax break for the middle class or anyone making less than that.

Before you start jumping up and down with your part-time wal-mart check in hand, there are some things you need to know about yourself. One of those things is what “class” are you. We’ve heard all about the middle-class and upper-class these past few months.Let me try to break it down for you:

If you pay taxes and your idea of an Eco-friendly car is a compact BMW , you may be upper-class. Other signs of this trend is if your money is somewhere in a Swiz bank , where not only might you be rich but have signs of being an insurance broker waiting to run off with some else’s dough. If your vacation destination is only accessible through a private jet, congratulations, you belong to the upper-class.

If you pay taxes and still buy at Wal-mart you show signs of being middle-class. Cars to look for in the garage are Hondas or a Prius you bought at the police auction. You might live in a neighberhood where you’re close enough to the poor to remind you to keep your two jobs but far away from them to sleep well at night. Your idea of haute coutre is Ralph Lauren.And if your ass fits in them , True religion jeans.

If you DON’T pay taxes but instead the government pays you, you are just plain poor. Lower-class is too fancy word for you and only hear it from the suburban folks I mentioned above this one.Your garage or the apartment building parking lot most likely has at least two shopping carts that people stole from the local supermarket. Your means of transportation is the city bus where you pay in coins because 70 dollars for the monthly pass is too much money to give in in one blow.

So analyze your situation first then jump up and down. Come back for more!!


James Bond for President

I was reading an article about how Daniel Craig ( the actor to play James Bond in the new film of the series ) was excited about the elections. This got my mind thinking. What if James Bond ( the character) was President?

Wouldn’t that be the best? I wish someone would nominate him somewhere and since I see the wordpress has a poll options ( I wonder why) I’m going to nominate James Bond for the United States Presidency. Let’s look at his background a bit.

James Bond For President :Is handsome spy with the code name 007. Rumor has it he might be a shape shifter seeing that he has changed appearances at least 7 times and never ages.
Foreign policy experience: Is capable of traveling to various locations in less than 5 movie minutes and speak the language fluidly.
Homeland security: Can kick ass and take names.
Health care: Is immune to any debilitating blow an enemy might bestow on him. If elected he will share the elixir of life with us.

Running mate for President Bond, Austin Powers:Proves a much more grimmer reality that not all British spies are hot.
Foreign policy experience:Balances his running mate perfectly. Unlike his running mate Mr.Power can also travel through time.
Homeland security: Has fought evil scientist and men with golden penises.
Health care Has mojo. Do you really need anything else?

Now of course with each Presidential ticket there has to be an opposing party. So here is another ticket and at the end please vote for who would you like to be the fake President of anywhere, I’m not picky.

Oprah for President: This queen of talk shows is already called some sort of God from the Chicago district. Could be a witch who’s hypnotizing us to do and say what she wants.
Foreign policy experience:Is watched by people from all over the world.
Homeland security: Will easily talk her way out of any war.
Health care: Will promote the cure for any illness in her book club.After it hits number 1 in the best sellers it will eventually become an actual cure.

President Oprah’s running mate, Bill O’Reily:Wishes he had the power of Oprah.Hates anyone who can’t prove their ancestors came in the Mayflower.
Foreign policy experience: Everything that isn’t America should be bombed.
Homeland security: Believes Puerto Ricans might be hiding terrorist messages in their loud music and hide bombs in their rims.
Healh care: Doesn’t know much about it but it must be due to immigration.

There you have it. Make me proud.

Confessions …

I like the Clinton’s. That’s not my confession though. The real confession is that every time I see them on TV I can’t help but think that they seem bitter. Bitter is such a nice word. More like really reallly realllllllly pissed off. It’s very interesting that Hillary Clinton has fought so hard to be in the White House and this DITZ is just a few morons voting for her away from actually being there. I can just imagine Bill thinking to himself “I did NOT want this to happen. We coulda had the women voters.But noooo he had to steer away. Oh Hell ,HILLARY , get your coat let’s get us some grub.”

It’s kinda sad how they have to go on TV and say how much better Obama/Biden can do while clenching onto their teeth. I know they can do a good job. I’m pretty sure Hillary doesn’t want McCain there. But it just gives me this eerie feeling she just doesn’t want McCain/Palin president, but she HATES this lady from the bottom of her ovaries. Hell, I don’t like her either and her whole existence pisses me off. I’m not judgmental but give me somebody that’s worth it. During the debate she winked and said so many “gotachas, betchas” I felt like she was selling me a car. I could have survived without all of that.

In a sort of Sarah Palin news: For those porn lovers out there , they are making a porno inspired by Sarah Palin. Yes it’s true. Now you can jerk off to her while not having the debate on mute. From what I heard there’s going to be a Hillary look-a-like on there. Here is a link to some of the script I got it off

It’s quite funny. I wish I could read the rest to see how they would mingle Hillary in there. It’s not that X-rated so don’t loose your heads here.

How do you start a bank?

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And how fast can you screw it over?
I want 700 billion dollars. For some reason Bill Gates doesn’t seem all too big and bad anymore. I know this problem affects a lot of people. Although I’m yet to meet any of them. Most of the people I know don’t have loads of stocks in the market and are able to pay their mortgage. I can just imagine one of those really rich people, “Oh darn I lost 5 millions. Now I only have 576 millions left.”
Why is Bush so in a hurry to get that cash approved? Doesn’t it seem so sudden? Give economist 5 miutes to really think this through. It’s like going to war with Iraq “See ,hehe, we gotta go now,hehe.Surprise em . come up right behind ’em they wont know what hit ’em hehe.”
I hate it when everyone rushes things.
Speaking of rushing things. I want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But Sarah Palin is a ditz. Sorry, big ditz. I’m surprised Katie Couric didn’t roll her eyes and slapped her so hard that a fly might pity her. Snl did a great job imitating the interview. From what I saw it wasn’t much different from the original interview.
If I wasn’t so lazy I’d make some sort of sign calling my country crooks and idiots. But I’m not that motivated. I can’t wait for all of this to finish. I miss Caley Anthony on the news.


It’s on bitches!

The debate that is of course.

Tonight, Barack Obama will tear John McCain a new asshole. Well that’s what we can see from the previews of this fall’s greatest season premiere of “General hospital: The road to the Whitehouse is bloody”.
Will you watch? I think I’m going to have to watch . I’m sure there isn’t going to be anything on besides that. Even my mom’s soap opera is canceled. Besides that way I have something to tell you guys right off. If it’s too late I’ll do it in the morning , I’m sure my audience can wait.

On a side note , I’m starting to notice a problem. I’m using the word “bitches” a lot.I should stop that. That’s not very journalism student of me to say that. But it is a sort of silly dream of mine to go on tv and curse just so they can bleep it out.

Let me know who you think will do best on tonight’s debate and how many of you are still waiting for Hillary Clinton to come on stage and rip both their balls off.

Is it me….

…or is Bush really hard to listen to without your mind thinking he’s saying something stupid?
Is it all those comedy shows that have made him look like a supreme idiot or is he really that dumb? Either case I can’t take anything he says seriously. Last night he was talking about the economy but I couldn’t but think that maybe he doesn’t exactly understand what he’s saying.

I wish they’d talk about something else. Seriously, I didn’t have any stocks in those companies that perished. Why should the government bail them out. And have you heard under the circumstances they’ll accept the help? Long and complicated. It’s almost like me saying “I’m starving but I will not eat anything that isn’t top top meat and brought in from India. Hurry up I’m starving!”

Bush is the bank’s bitch.

Speaking of bitches. I was seeing Elizabeth:The golden age. It’s a movie about Queen Elizabeth the first. She has this friend , a lady of the court. So her friend ends up sleepy with the guy Elizabeth has the hots for. When Claire Danes ( Queen Elizabeth) finds out she starts beating up the girl and tells her “my bitches wear my collar.” Reference that she wasn’t suppose to sleep with anyone without the Queen’s permission. Now I just loved that part! Here is the whitest chick ever playing the part of a Queen beating this girl up tell her how she’s her bitch and does what she wants her to do. Man that was gangsta! I was waiting for her to pull a gun and pop her. Unexpectedly the best movie scene so far.

Just because…

Speech,SPEECH ! Ok but shut up …

You probably know close to 300 people were arrested during this past week at the republican conventions. Anti-war groups hit the streets with chants like “Who’s the terrorist? McCain is the terrorist!”

And that’s fine, everyone has a right to free speech. Obviously they were arrested because a riot broke out with police. But nonetheless the story, if anyone was watching Senator McCain deliver his speech last night, was that 3 protesters interrupted his speech.

Two men and one women were removed from the convention for interrupting and yelling. One guy had a sign that said “You can’t win an occupation,” and on the other side said ,”McCain votes against vets”.

First off, I was confused because Abc cameras wouldn’t leave focus on the guy for too long to be able to see the sign. I guess they were confused too. Then he steps up like a hero with his peace fingers to which everyone applauds and then you are able to see his sign. McCain was unable to see the guy from his vantage point and seemed confused as to what was going on (poor fellow, it’s like someone is making bunny ears in his picture). The other guy ,they didn’t show on camera, so I’m going to assume there wasn’t another guy. HOWEVER, the lady, that shit was kinda scary. Now you see this girl in a pink dress and jacket yelling some stuff while walking down the aisle. She’s angry and everyone is confused. McCain was able to see her but cameras didn’t capture his reaction to her. Now she’s walking rapidly down the aisle ,yelling, and starts to touch her jacket almost insinuating she’s going to take it off.
This is when I held the pillow to my face only to leave one eye open because I earnestly thought she was going to bomb him. I mean think about it , what’s under the jacket dudette?! Why so angry ?? Then I thought , Holy shit , the secret service is going to shot her down! Awww crap a calamity , damn lady. Still clutching my pillow now with my two eyes open because someone was going down and it wasn’t Dick Cheney. Hell if he would have been, he would have shot her first.

BAm! Secret service grab her and start pulling her away. She takes off her jacket! Only to reveal some silly letters written on it.What did it say ? I don’t know , they were pulling and tugging her I couldn’t make out anything but that maybe she was drunk and/or high. Apparently no news outlet has enough information on this. You can tell I didn’t even link a source because I read them and they saw the same crap as me.

I’m glad no one got hurt . Well maybe the lady. She did not want to get pulled off the aisle it was pretty forced. McCain ,kudos to him, handled it well. Laughing it off and saying “Please don’t be diverted by the ground noise and the static.”

Listen no matter whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican everyone deserves the same amount of respect. Nobody interrupted Obama and McCain didn’t need it either. You can protest outside but let them both speak their minds. How can you know what your against if you don’t actually listen to what they’re saying?

Holy, exclamation point! Palin for V.p….

Republican Presidential nominee John Mccain has just announce his vice presidential pick …
Gov.Sarah Palin.

For those of you who aren’t exactly aware of who Mrs. Palin is, she is the Governor is Alaska. She is the first female vice presidential pick for the republican party. Palin,44, is the youngest Governor serving seat. In 1984 she was a runner up for Miss Alaska from which she received a scholarship allowing her to study journalism in the University of Idaho.After working as a sports anchor she served as a city council then as mayor.  Palin has also acknowledge her use of marijuana when it was legal in Alaska but claiming she never enjoyed it.

Take that democratic party ! In a freak turn of events where everyone was waiting for Hillary Clinton to be Barack Obama’s vice presidential pick , Senator John McCain chose Sarah Palin. Does he really think that she is qualified to run as a vice president or is he trying to hurl in the bitter Hillary supporters? Somewhere Mitt Romney is hitting his head on a wall. But in all cases I think people should keep a close eye at the republican conventions.

Barack 1 , Mccain 0

Who is Joe Biden

I’m sure most of you have already know that Barack Obama’s Vice president pick is Joe Biden. Hear that? That’s a bunch of Clinton supporters smashing their heads against the wall.Now this is certainly a bold move for Senator Obama but his choice is made and he is scheduled to appear with Senator Biden today in Illinois. Here’s a little information I could gather regarding Senator Joe Biden:

Joe Biden Jr, is the senior Senator for the state of Delaware. He was elected at the minimum age of 30 and has since been Delaware’s longest-serving Senator. Senator Biden is also the chairman for the U.S. Senate Committee on Foreign Relations . He ran for President in 1988 and although he was initially a strong candidate soon after he was discovered of plagiarism in a speech. It was later known that in his first year of law school he had plagiarized a class paper. Coming under harsh scrutiny, his popularity soon fell and he withdrew from the nomination race in Sept 23,1987. He ran again for the 2008 democratic nomination, but after the Iowa caucuses in January he dropped out receiving only 1% of the delegates behind the rest of the nominees. In debates he had previously criticized Obama’s lack of experience to lead a country. Senator Biden has voted on issues such as the war in Iraq. Even though after words he would become a strong critic on the way it was carried out.

I hope I helped to inform you in any shape or form on Vice president pick for the Democratic party Senator Joe Biden. I wish I knew how Hillary supporters feel about this choice.

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