The war on texting

     I understand the need to stay in touch with your friends. I also understand that it might come as weird to some you when I say that I don’t own a cell phone. Yes, that’s right, I don’t have one. Actually , I do have one but I just use it to listen to music. I’m not saying everyone should join me and throw away their electrical leashes. No, see the only thing I want to complain to you about it the texting-wow sounded a bit Bill Cosby. Anyways, I find it incredibly annoying the amount of texting people seem to indulge in. I once sat down next to a friend who had spent more than an hour texting. By this time I was so annoyed by it that I just turned to her and said “F#@#%$ call that person already”. I mean seriously, do you know how rude it is when you’re talking to someone and all of a sudden they flip open their phone to text someone else? No, of course you don’t. You’re probably one of those people. Can you blame the teachers for giving stares of death when they find someone texting in their class room? If it’s so damn important why don’t you step out and call the person?

     It’s probably one of those horrible habits people will end up going to psychiatrist for. Dear lord, I wonder what type of lunatics we’ll have 25 years from now?

     Another nervous tick people seem to have are with the sidekick phones and other phone that turns/flips when it opens. See the proud owners of these electronics know that they will engage in an hour long texting conversation but yet still close their phone. Only to open it 3 seconds later to read the incoming message. Then they proceed to type their response and close the phone again only to open it 2 seconds later. Do you see how that can drive the person next to the lunatic just as insane?! LEAVE THE FUCKING PHONE OPEN!

     Glad to have gotten that off my chest. Please be considerate of those who still hang on to our sanity.

Backlashes of a lazy student

     It was time to start picking my summer classes and I didn’t want to pick any classes that would give me a hard time.After all, the summer courses only last 12 weeks. Seeing that I had to pick a class to satisfy my science requirement, I initially discarded picking any science class. Science is hard , isn’t it? That is of course until I saw that they offered Astronomy classes to satisfy the science credit. I was very much excited. I mean how hard can an astronomy class be? When I looked up the description it said that observing the sky would be one of the activities.

     A PLANETERIUM! I remember going to one when I was little. I signed up for the class immediately after reading this. I told my sister-in-law that we were going to go to a planetarium. yayyyy! summer field trips!!

     That was of course of my idea up until the class actually started. When I first walked into the classroom it was an average small room with nothing very appealing to it. There was a white board and the walls dirty from apparent fingerprints.: it resembled nothing like a class in the science field. I kept saying to myself that looks weren’t everything and I proceeded with the class even though there was a knot in my stomach that was telling me that nothing here is what I expected.

     The teacher began to teach and the first things that came out of his mouth were "I know we’re suppose to be doing some observing in the class, but there will be none of that. We can learn by theory, using textbooks. It’s just as fun".
So in essence, for not paying 15 dollars entrance to the planetarium, I signed up for a class that is taught by PowerPoint and doesn’t even offer multiple choice questions on the exams.

The moral of the story: Pay the entrance fee to the museum kids. Power point and memorizing the notion of speed of light is not as amusing.

And Everything Was Alright

I found a wonderful site a while ago and I thought they had a great project. Well, they had some stickers left over from another project they did, so they decided to start giving those stickers away. In exchange for the sticker, people were asked to submit a photo of the sticker somewhere in their home town.

The word was spread and now they have a great collection of pictures with their stickers on them. Call me cheesy, but I couldn’t get enough of it. So, I gave it a shoot. I sent them an e-mail with my mailing address ( mind you the stickers were FREE) and waited.

And waited.NADA. So, I sent them ANOTHER e-mail requesting my stickers again.
Patience is a virtue: my stickers arrived yesterday. I couldn’t be more thrilled. I started taking pictures right this morning. I didn’t go anywhere interesting in my home town. Instead, I took pictures where I frequent. With that said there are three pictures at my college:p.

I just submitted the e-mail with the pictures. Remember to visit the site frequently so you can see my pictures!
And hey,why not, participate as well!

Remember the site is : Http://stickertotheman.com

P.s I’m not sure if they’ll post my name but just in case look for Gigi from Miami.

Global warming..

I believe in global warming.

Heck I even put my part to try to bring an end to it. Apparently, recycling isn’t enough for good ol’ Earth and it took a mean revenge on me.
On Monday after class ended , I proceeded to walk to my bus stop. I was wearing lovely high heel shoes. It was noon in South Florida, so the ground was blazing and unforgiving. So you can imagine my horror when passing by some grass I managed to kick up some dirt. A large amount of very hot dirt entered my shoes thus giving me a very serious burn on both my feet.

Yes, the sun here is so God Damn hot DIIIRRRTT burnt my feet. I came home practically hopping on one foot. DAMN YOU SUN! I should have been born in Alaska or wherever the hell Twilight is based – apparently the lack of sunlight is the reason why the vampires sparkle?

I’m rather confused about global warming though. Let’s say global warming were to happen. Would that mean that South Florida becomes hotter or colder? I heard it just plains disappears.

I’d appreciate anyone with post-apocalyptic information to contact me. I prefer a region who has high survival probabilities and whose post-apocalyptic weather will be in the cool 70’s.

Thank you very much, see you in the bunker!

Qvc therapy

I get bored easily. For some strange and bizarre reason every time I’m flipping channels I seem to stop on QVC.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t buy anything on there. (Don’t crucify me QVC shoppers).
But there’s something hypnotizing about watching that damn channel. They could be selling the Mumus and they make it seem so damn urgent.

“Call now because we only have the denim blue and cherry red available. We’re all out of lemon yellow. Opps there goes medium size. We still have plenty in the Xl size”

Damn you QVC for captivating me with your nonsense.

I also have a beef with informercials. Now I understand that you must try to convince us that without your product our life is just too complicated. But everything I start to see you selling the most basic product – let’s say a garden hose- you make the people on there NOT using your garden hose look mentally retarded.

There’s this one informercial where the person looks like its going to be eaten by the common garden hose.
“Tired of those heavy garden hose…” Cue in the person about to be swallowed by the common hose.

Even water filters
“Tired of changing those big gallons of water , tired of risking your health” Cue in the person about to break their back while simutaneously dropping all the water on the floor.

Damn you informercials and QVC. DAMN YOU!

James Bond for President


I was reading an article about how Daniel Craig ( the actor to play James Bond in the new film of the series ) was excited about the elections. This got my mind thinking. What if James Bond ( the character) was President?


Wouldn’t that be the best? I wish someone would nominate him somewhere and since I see the wordpress has a poll options ( I wonder why) I’m going to nominate James Bond for the United States Presidency. Let’s look at his background a bit.


James Bond For President :Is handsome spy with the code name 007. Rumor has it he might be a shape shifter seeing that he has changed appearances at least 7 times and never ages.
Foreign policy experience: Is capable of traveling to various locations in less than 5 movie minutes and speak the language fluidly.
Homeland security: Can kick ass and take names.
Health care: Is immune to any debilitating blow an enemy might bestow on him. If elected he will share the elixir of life with us.


Running mate for President Bond, Austin Powers:Proves a much more grimmer reality that not all British spies are hot.
Foreign policy experience:Balances his running mate perfectly. Unlike his running mate Mr.Power can also travel through time.
Homeland security: Has fought evil scientist and men with golden penises.
Health care Has mojo. Do you really need anything else?

Now of course with each Presidential ticket there has to be an opposing party. So here is another ticket and at the end please vote for who would you like to be the fake President of anywhere, I’m not picky.



Oprah for President: This queen of talk shows is already called some sort of God from the Chicago district. Could be a witch who’s hypnotizing us to do and say what she wants.
Foreign policy experience:Is watched by people from all over the world.
Homeland security: Will easily talk her way out of any war.
Health care: Will promote the cure for any illness in her book club.After it hits number 1 in the best sellers it will eventually become an actual cure.


President Oprah’s running mate, Bill O’Reily:Wishes he had the power of Oprah.Hates anyone who can’t prove their ancestors came in the Mayflower.
Foreign policy experience: Everything that isn’t America should be bombed.
Homeland security: Believes Puerto Ricans might be hiding terrorist messages in their loud music and hide bombs in their rims.
Healh care: Doesn’t know much about it but it must be due to immigration.



There you have it. Make me proud.


Groundhog Dream


As I laid last night to sleep I could hear my dad scratching his feet from a distant. You see he has rough feet and he left his socks on while doing this so it made a very annoying sound. So I decided as a vengeance to scratch the bed spread to see if he liked the sound of it. Apparently he could care less because he didn’t stop with his noise. So that’s the sound I went to sleep to, two people making scratching noises.


Evidently, this must have had some effect on my dream because it was just odd. Plain and simple. I dreamt that I was having a dream. A dream within a dream. Like the poem from Edgar Allan Poe. As a matter of fact , this should be something from Edgar Allan Poe. I dreamt that I was dreaming ( hang onto me here ) that I was being harassed by 5 evil spirits. I’m saying 5 because when I woke up from my sub dream that’s what I told my Dad because exaggeration is the best way to alarm people. My guess is that they were actually three of them. My dad ignored me ( nothing surprising there) so I tried to get back to my sub-sleep mood. But I couldn’t so I decided to understand what was going on. Have you ever notice that when given the chance to let your dream persona think/talk they will come up with the most nonsensical gibberish? But in the dream you think you’re a freaking philosopher. My dream persona came to the conclusion that the spirits could not cause me any harm because if it’s the devil’s work he would have killed Jesus in his sleep too.


At this point I just decided to wake up. It was getting ridiculous to just listen to myself ramble without anyone there to stop me.


I sometimes think about keeping a dream journal. But the first thing on my mind when I wake up is what’s for breakfast.

Missing partner


Have you ever opened the drawer to find your socks only to realize you can’t find the other one?
It has happened to me and everyone else. Funny enough the colored ones with prints who you’d think you can spot a mile away are the ones missing their partner.Well no need to worry. Now there is a website dedicated to lonely socks.


You heard me. A website about lonely socks. Here you can find all sorts of socks people have lost the other half of.

I have come to the conclusion that there just a website about absolutely everything! I spent about 20 minutes today at a website that is dedicated to film things explode in a microwave. Cake foam is one disgusting thing to look at in that state.Please if anyone has meaningless websites that you enjoy or come upon, don’t hesitate in sending it my way.


Pages like these make me want to make up a meaningless website just to see if I get any hits. But then again I do have this blog.

Is it me….


…or is Bush really hard to listen to without your mind thinking he’s saying something stupid?
Is it all those comedy shows that have made him look like a supreme idiot or is he really that dumb? Either case I can’t take anything he says seriously. Last night he was talking about the economy but I couldn’t but think that maybe he doesn’t exactly understand what he’s saying.


I wish they’d talk about something else. Seriously, I didn’t have any stocks in those companies that perished. Why should the government bail them out. And have you heard under the circumstances they’ll accept the help? Long and complicated. It’s almost like me saying “I’m starving but I will not eat anything that isn’t top top meat and brought in from India. Hurry up I’m starving!”


Bush is the bank’s bitch.


Speaking of bitches. I was seeing Elizabeth:The golden age. It’s a movie about Queen Elizabeth the first. She has this friend , a lady of the court. So her friend ends up sleepy with the guy Elizabeth has the hots for. When Claire Danes ( Queen Elizabeth) finds out she starts beating up the girl and tells her “my bitches wear my collar.” Reference that she wasn’t suppose to sleep with anyone without the Queen’s permission. Now I just loved that part! Here is the whitest chick ever playing the part of a Queen beating this girl up tell her how she’s her bitch and does what she wants her to do. Man that was gangsta! I was waiting for her to pull a gun and pop her. Unexpectedly the best movie scene so far.

Tanorexic


I was talking to my friend who had confessed me to be involuntarily tanorexic. See , he didn’t want to be tanned. But because of his line of work he was always out in the sun. Now I know what some of you might be thinking, free tan! He’s so lucky, I wish I was him. Well no. Not everyone desires to look like they were put in the oven 450 degrees for 15 minutes. I personally don’t even find it attractive. I rather hang out with an albino than to walk around with someone who resembles a certain orange vegetable.


See I’m what you might call “sun allergic”. I’m naturally tanned, and I don’t like it when I step outside for 15 minutes and I have sandal marks on my feet. I live in a very hot place where I avoid being in the blazing sun out all cost. See for those of you who don’t know, a tan is a sign your skin is sort of cooking. So if you’re burned , stick a fork in , YOU’RE READY TO GO !


And what’s these guys ??

Guido in action

Guido in action


Try to spot the “Guido”.
Guido: An idiot that is easily spotted by his popped coller , spiked hair, his Ralph Lauren shirt two sizes too small ( most likely in pink),and general state of being a dumb ass


That’s all folks! Beware of tans , pale can be sexy too!

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